* S H A T T E R E D dreams ]

Saturday, January 28, 2006


And so this is what u think. HMMM. Taken aback? Yes.

Humans can be very misleading at times, no?

My mouth is still hurting for goodness sake although it is getting better but it still hurts quite a bit! So u can imagine the pain I had yesterday - the depressing thursday :(

I'm tired. of everything and anything.

I'm exhausted. of guessing and guessing. I don't wanna let it get that far.

Signing off.

Till next time.


* S H A T T E R E D 12:25 AM

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I am so sad.

Having Chinese new year being around the corner, my mouth hurts due to an ulcer growing on the inner gum because of heatiness. What is this...?! I will have to reduce my consumption of pineapple tarts which is my favourite and all the new yr goodies to let my heatiness 'cool' down. SIGHS. I couldn't even bite a dou sha bao properly today, which is soft and is of paste and not meat like char siew bao, but I still took great effort to bite can. I think my speed of biting is like one-fifth of a normal biting speed. AM I UNLUCKY OR UNLUCKY????? :'(( Couldn't even do my 3 tests properly today. Especially for econs test. I nearly fainted. I drank one bottle of water every lesson and it's literally every. Only drinking water could soothe the pain for that instance, before swallowing it down. As a result of that, I kept going/running to the toilet. It's a record man. I practically went to the toilet after every lesson, i.e. every hour. Really. Every lesson. I hereby conclude that TODAY IS A DEPRESSING DAY. Maths test was tough like anything, econs...OKAY only and chem was open-book so it's quite good. But it being a surprise test, the teachers' objective is to force us to read the notes. It's quite a good idea actually. Oh well. Came home early but is for tuition. Was so sleepy during the tuition lor.

Anyway, gonna see a doc later to "xiao du" and mum's gonna make ginseng water for me to drink, which erm I don't exactly like u know. But what to do. Good things are never nice. They always taste bitter.


Okay anyway, it's chinese new year's eve's eve's eve today :) and tmr being just the eve of the eve, we're not going to have half day off and lessosn are per normal. So sian. The celebration's only 40 pathetic minutes somemore. But looking on the bright side, it's a nice and long weekend holiday. It's a fine chance to gather with our relatives and also to collect hongbaos! :D

But there seems to be alot of homework too. Hmmm. All i can say is, all good things come with a price to pay.

* S H A T T E R E D 5:07 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you...

Every single word and phrase of this song is so true and so close to what I've experienced and I will not let it happen again. Because of you. Sighs. I've gotten over it and it's really, really over.

Just love Kelly Clarkson's songs! Have liked her since I heard her whichever first song I heard and every song of hers attracts me so much! Think I'll buy her album after CNY when I've got my hongbaos :) Can't wait!

* S H A T T E R E D 8:27 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

There is A LOT of tests this week. Can't wait for the next weekend to arrive. :)

Had lots of fun on Friday during the outing with ju, cherie, jiahong and jeffrey. Karen was with us for dinner and Ben left before the movie - cheaper by the dozen 2. (How lame can Jia Hong be la. -.-")

But he's always that lame. So anyways, There were 2 guys sitting behind us in Macs and they talk with lots of animations which were super funny. Everyone laughed like...no one's business. Haha. Well, I played a prank on JH by pasting his burger's 'Special Order' sticker on his hair as I was sitting beside him. Heh.

Guitar club's outing's always so fun! :D

Spring-cleaned my house yesterday with my 2 sisters and I took 6 hours to clean and tidy up what I was responsible for - cleaning the windows, tidying my part of the room which is quite a big 'part' (I share the room with my 2nd sis) as I have one 4-level bookshelf of books (school files, books, storybooks, dictionaries,a series of encyclopedia -.-") and I'm responsible for the study table too, which is quite long, why I'm repsponsible for it too is because it is mostly used by me as my sis is not studying anymore (she only uses it for work using the laptop). And so I created a space for her too. Or she would have to do her work in the living room which has distractions - people walking around and most imptly,the TV. Well well, my room looks much neater and more spacious as I moved the position of my bed and cleared stuff. (End product is satisfactory :) but process was..tiring.) Encountered a lizard while cleaning the living room's windows and I was so freaked out that I went to wipe my parents' room's windows first then went to tidy my room and only resumed cleaning the windows in the living room at near 11pm. (We dragged and started the spring-cleaning only at 5pm. =X) STOOPID lizard.

Okays, got to go do AQ and practice an econs essay on trade =/ for the econs test on TUESDAY...which is the day we have Chemistry SPA as well. We're so "lucky" right. Haizz.

Good luck to me.

* S H A T T E R E D 2:35 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Tag replies:

sj*: ahaha. look like meh? only showing the julia copyrighted art mah. anyw my name is quite interesting also. hahaha.

Cherie: haha okay will go take a look and 'shun bian' "steal" some :P

Jia Hong: LONG XIA! Mei li mao!! aiyo....u didn't play monkey bars when u were young is it...u hang BELOW the monkey bar and not above (though there are some people who do that, but not me!) -shakes head- hahaha.

Jeffrey: Ok lor...but u're a guy and I'm a girl so it's super tedious and annoyingly tiring! :P AND Ms Piggy is a superwonderwoman can...haiyo.

Haiz...soooo tired today...and congratulations to us there is the "beloved" physical conditioning for P.E. tmr! I suspect I'll be quite half dead tmr and during the guitar club outing but still looking forward to it! :) anyway...julia, it's such a joy to sit beside me right....I inspire u to study your maths, which is your 2nd most hated subject. haha...but I am being called "long xia no. 2" by her for not being able to hear her clearly sometimes >.<

MY GOD!!! sth really weird but comforting JUST happened...this was the situation before what just happened: a few days ago, when I switched on my computer, the desktop actually disappeared but the wallpaper iss still the same and the data is still in my computer (so it was like a wallpaper with nothing else on the screen already) and could access them thru some mtd...and we used the comp. without the desktop for these few days but TODAY, SUDDENLY!, the desktop returned after the windows explorer crashed! my gosh...I am so thankful for it returning! (though windows explorer crashing ain't sth too nice) I know my computer's deteriorating and I'm gonna backup the files today :) even though the desktop has returned.. =D WHEE~

Alright excitement aside...I don't seem to have much to update already...school life...everyone can guess...fun with friends but boredom with teachers. Although some teachers are nice but the lesson's really boring! >.<

* S H A T T E R E D 3:38 PM

Monday, January 16, 2006

Bridge-o-phobia is one term i came up with while on my way home..wondering why? This happens when u have to cross bridges every single day. Least is one time and most is three times. Really bridge-o-phobia, no? I actually dread going home. If my father fetches me to school it's not so bad..but...after one whole day at school and u hv to cross a stupid bridge it's very tiring man...aye.

Anyway, the day before...went out with jeff, cherie (main people) and ju and jiahong were with us at some point in time...went to meet jiahong, jeff and cherie for lunch at TPY. Cherie was late...very late...and while waiting for her, jiahong ate macs as his breakfast (at 2pm!) and chicken rice as his lunch (at 2.45pm!). haha...he's the only lobster which is also a pig that eats his lunch and breakfast one after another in one hr's time. wahaha.

After lunch...jiahong left for church and left cherie and I who followed jeff to his (and also shi jie's) secondary school for their cca bazaar. Ju came to join us too! Well sth super funny happened along the way to his school while trying to contact s.j...haha...and ju and i were a mobile fish market...(hee). when we reached their school, we realised we couldn't enter their school after all as ju and cherie were in inappropriate footwear and so we went to relive our childhood memories at the playground in front of their school while jeff went in. A pity there was no swing....but the slides were fun nonetheless! :)

Hmmm then the 4 of us walked back to TPY central and laughed quite a bit along the way...Ju left us when reaching the central for orchard to meet her family for dinner. So, cherie, jeff and I went to sit at macs again...and stoned a bit b4 we left for PS for dinner as we were sian with toa payoh..jeff was contemplating if he shld join us as he was full from his macs early dinner(large fries and large coke) but he did anyway....wanted to go for cafe cartel! but it being a saturday..everywhere was super crowded and cafe cartel was NO exception..there was a LONGG queue and so cherie and I headed for pastamania again...(two days in a row) but jeff left us when we were queuing as he had to go meet his friend to pass him something and that left cherie and I! but we ordered different food...this time not just individual's pasta...but we ordered one plate of 'vongole',one 'mixed side salad' (cherie was craving for vegetables and I quite like salad so we ordered it) and a 'banana chocolate pizza'!all to share... yum yum...the banana chocolate pizza...really nice!

After dinner...cherie and I went to take neos...pretty nice and the process was fun...there were monkey bars for us to hang! haha..and we went home after that..at about 9 plus. Both of us felt a lil guilty for not studying the entire day..but I also didn't study when I reached home but I figured out the 'integration by parts' before I went out to meet them so it's not that bad..haha (consoling myself) Studying's such a chore =(

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Hmm...today...had monday blues in the morning and was kinda moody..sorry ju! I know u realised it too but still put up with me...=) I then 'recovered' to a normal mood shortly and I began drawing during lessons after the break...*oops...heh. I copied one of julia's style of drawing (but!) put a 'julia copyrighted sign'...(can see it in the first pic below..the circle with a 'J' inside...just like the normal copyright sign just that it's a J instead of a C...) and she signed it too! ahaha. the drawing's very nice and cute! There are 2 samples posted below :))

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com

* S H A T T E R E D 4:56 PM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

back this soon...but really tired now...but shall update anyway so that i dun hv to use so much of the computer when my sisters are home this wkend.. =X. Well as mentioned will update with details of past activities but shall do short ones...too tired la...hee.

hmmm some memorable outings/experiences worth mentioning:
1. guitar bbq at tze wei's hse! it was super duper fun...all the lame games and what not...karen lost at her own game...serious..it was damn funny...n she's known as the King of Pigs and a few of us in the guitar club have become pigs over these days too due to the game and some photo...bleah. The no. of pigs in the club has increased as we play this 'touching nose' version of heart attack introduced by Karen quite a few times so it's either the same people who always become pigs or there r 'newbies'...haha.

2. gathering with my sec. school buddies - Wanting and Charmaine..SWEET! charm is always busy....well mostly busy with her bf...O_o. so it was great to be able to meet up with her and update on each other's life..Wanting...my very good buddy! we have grown closer than when in secondary school since last yr cuz of our relatively 'xiang yi wei ming-ness" during first 3 mths in CJC...not exactly xiang yi wei ming but were very close cuz we were in a 'foreign land' which we were not so used to...so we would meet up after school or when choosing CCAs and being in serious dilemmas..haha. but too bad she's gone to NP...so timings and holidays are are all different now..haiz. it shld be very diff. to meet up often this yr as when we did in dec hols cuz of A levels (*SIGHS) except special occasions and festivals ba...hmm cant wait till chinese new year... =D

hmmm my gosh my brain's slowly going into "off" mode so I cant really think of much now aleady....nvm...shall proceed to the current situations...heh.

well...members of guitar club have become closer recently and it's fantastic! All the laughs we always get when together...sure can laugh alot one... the meals we have tgt after practices or outings....really great...with super lame people like jia hong aka jia Gong aka long(deaf) xia (blind) aka qian da and jeffrey who REFUSES to tell us his chinese name but we found out anyway...haha. mr. yao jia HSIANG! wah can de-stress by laughing man...hahaha. also cherie...julia...karen...shi jie...and all in guitar club! Small we may be, but the connection's there! :))

went out for dinner with cherie, jia hong and ben after guitar meeting today...was fun...as usual...haha. and Ben opened up more today and didn't sit away from us as when in Macs that time! which is a very good thing..haha. Tan Jia Hong was just so qian da today...-shakes head-...but luckily I had shi jie and cherie on the way to TPY to talk nonsense all together(not nonsen or nonsenseS la cherie and jia Gong!)haha...but sadly shi jie went home for dinner...or else the more the merrier! :)

Hmm...combined concert with SJI's coming up somewhere in May/June....quite looking forward to that! :D It's gonna be an enriching experience! One thing I'm definitely sure of in my life now is that I sure don't regret joining guitar club....although s.j and I got reprimanded by the teacher-in-charge for quitting Interact Club on the very day when the confirmation ceremony was gg to be held that afternoon..we knew it was a wrong and irresponsible act...but...we just don't feel happy in Interact...so we figured 'chang tong bu ru duan tong' and sure our decision wasn't wrong! Everything's worth it... :)

* S H A T T E R E D 12:37 AM

Thursday, January 12, 2006

OOPS....It's been a LOOONNNGGGG time since I've updated!

Julia has commented that my blog is like stagnant drain water which will have larvaes growing soon if I still don't update. Actually, I agree~ =X But me being lazy like anything...well I will try to stop being so lazy and update my blog often!

Really wanted to update with details today but having spent so much time on my new, pretty pretty blog skin...time doesn't allow me to do so...

SO...I shall update REALLY soon....heh.

Alright, till later!


* S H A T T E R E D 7:23 PM